Posted by: Chloe | October 1, 2007

The lowdown…

Why my mother is the way she is:

She had me young and never really liked children
which meant she was not maternal.
She blamed everyone but herself
for drinking, smoking pot and partying far along in years than she should have
but she was almost always discontent with her life for as long as I remember.
She was married three times before she was 30
because she could never love the same man for very long
which I’m sure she blamed on the death of her father when she was young
She was smart but could never be submissive to anyone
which caused her to lose many positions to a point that her
standards dropped and she dropped in pay.
She rarely stood up for us but instead chose battles to fight
in job and with her ex husband that had no meaning.
She spent her life blaming everyone but herself even when
she constantly got sick from binge drinking
Many saw her as smart but her attiude killed that
because she lived like the world owed her
including her children
who did the laundry, cooking and cleaning at young ages.
She chose to go out with friends and not be called ‘mama” on certain days
instead of going to school events for her children.
No matter what she did, nothing filled the void
because she sought evil instead of good to fill her heart.
She filled her soul with bitterness from a young age and it devoured her.


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