Posted by: Chloe | May 23, 2008

Who really cares?

When a death happens in your family, it’s sad but you really find out who really cares for you.   It’s been a few weeks and still no acknowledgement from my dad’s sister of my mother’s passing.  No card, no phone call, no offer to help and yet we see her several times a year.  No, there’s no excuse.  There have been times when I have made excuses for people’s behavior but this time, no.  She is just plain self centered.

She’s not the only one.  The week of the service, my step-mother (who had not acknowledged the passing yet) contacted my sister and I in an email asking if we had packed something from her car in our stuff accidentally when my dad came to help with the cremation.  Oh and by the way, I’m sorry to hear about your mother.  Is that etiquette?  To ask about something lost and a condolence in the same email?  This is a woman who will make a 3 course meal for someone’s mother’s sister in her church but never pick the phone up to see if my sister and I need anything?  No meal, no plant, no phone call.

NOW – do not think for one second I am a attention seeker or think people owe me or constantly want things from others when I’m down.  The problem is I RARELY ask for help, especially from my dad and step-mom.  So I have very LOW expectations of them and certain other people.  But after all this, it makes me question how bad would it have to be for them to step up to the plate?  Losing my mother I would think qualify.  And yes they are Christian so I do hold them to a different standard.  That may be unfair but that’s life!

BTW – an update.  We did receive a sympathy card the following week from my step-mom.  A card just doesn’t do it with a situation like this.  And she wonders why our relationship is not better.


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