Posted by: Chloe | October 21, 2008

Vindictiveness

Vindictiveness can eat up love and care in your heart.  With going to counseling and trying to make positive changes in my life, I knew the battles would come.  Some of my family manipulates in order to get what they want or use words to lay guilt. 

Recently, rather than my sister asking nicely about the status of something dealing with our mom’s items, she used a form of manipulation and vindictiveness to try and get what she wanted.  There are two sides and yes I have not done something I said I would do but a time frame was never spoken between us.  So she has decided to throw an offer out that a favor I asked will be done once I do what she wants. 

The sad part???  All she had to do was ask in a nice respectful manner of when I thought I would get the task done and could I hurry up because she really wanted the item.  But my sister is a stuffer.  She gets irritated at something dealing with me and rather than letting it go or communicating with me about it, she gets madder and madder THEN snaps.  The result is she’s rude, snippy, disrespectful or hateful towards me.  It may last just for a phone call or personal visit or longer.  Until she lets the frustration go, she may be distant and short with me for weeks.  Although I may ask her if everything is okay, she denies there is a problem.  Once she has dumped on me, usually everything goes back to normal.

This is the part where I have to start taking care of myself by protecting my own heart.  It’s telling myself I’m not selfish or dishonoring my sister to cut off a phone call or shorten a visit or decline a outing when she is being disrespectful to me.  I will no longer take it because when I allow those jabs, it sucks my joy from life.  I love her dearly.  I pray for her frequently and have asked God to save her.  To pull her towards Him.  I don’t attach string to our relationship and if she does, I will have to cut them.

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