Posted by: Chloe | February 24, 2009

Thought of you

I thought of you today mom and almost had a breakdown in the grocery store.  It took everything inside of me to not lay down on the floor sobbing – to check out at the moment – to crawl in a corner somewhere and let the pain take over.  But I had my son with me and I was in public. 

It was a good day and as I was shopping a lady passed me that looked in the same situation as you were in.  She appeared to have probably led a hard partying life – looked older than she really was.  Shoulders slumped and in bad physical health – and immediately I was overcome with picturing you shopping the same way.  I miss you and I wished that I could have seen you overcome your demons before you left this world.  Who’s to say that in the last few weeks or days of your life, you didn’t overcome them?  In letters you spoke of peace but you were so vague, I’m not sure what you meant with the word peace.  I pray you did have that peace, not only the peace of believing in Jesus from your heart, but peace of bondage broken from the demons you so long fought against.

Some of you may think that once you are saved, you are free from the demons but not so in some ways.  There are behaviors to break and changing your life is a process.  Although you may have Jesus in your heart, it may still be a struggle to let go of the pain, hurt, addictions and forgive that you’ve held onto for years.

I missed you today mom.

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